Rehab

Rehab and Kid Rock in concert here in town and i went on a whim! Yup just grabbed a kid and bolted at the last minute and im soooo glad i did. While i was having a good time and taking in the great tunes i thought to myself. Not a life changing thought but a direction changing thought and here it is. All the b.s. i have survived in my life the trauma, drama and crap and im still here! I made it. And to top it off if i stand back and look at what i have WOW i have so much to be proud of and i should be proud of myself. I dont know how i let little things like bills and stresses bring me down recently but no more. NO MORE!



I have delt with far worse in my life and been far worse off than i am now and it seems when you block out some of the crap that happens in life you also block out the feeling of overcoming that crap and the fact that you did OVERCOME. Well at least i seem to have recently. I need to get my head stright and embrace the speed bumps in my life. When i was born life was already rocky. Being that i was a baby *shrug* what did i know. lol In time things became worse for my parents not because of me im sure such is life for them. Those problems are the burden they carry, i never did but i suffered because of them.



Into the world on July 11, 1974 was born a fighter! ME! I joined the ranks with many others who have and will fight the battle of hardknocks looking for light, justice and to make this world a better place. As a toddler i fought to breath with a full size mattress on top of me and won. As a preschooler i battled the need for my mother quickly making due with my new mama, learning to find comfort in a stranger, wrapping my mind around the fact that comfort, love and understanding is only an open mind away. I fought off the urge to cry out to my mother at night and insteed learned to pray and believe that if i was a good person (a good kid) i would be alright and I WAS!



Im not the only child (i know) to find ways around a drunk father, to except the fact that people we love sometimes leave us, to hold the life of younger brothers and sisters lives in their hands. Sometimes its easier to know that others had tramas and issues too but i hurt for them (for us) AND i relize children like us are stronger for it, i weep for the ones who did not "make it out". I DID! I must remember i made it out. I must never forget that im stronger than i give myself credit for. Even with the hardships i have had in my life it could have been worse. There are children with no love in this world, who will go hungry far more than the few times i did, who will never know the feeling of comfort, the strenght of God, the feel



TBC

Game Day!

Its on! Its Game Day!! Today is Taylors first JV came of his JR year in highschool. I never even made it to my juinor year. Sad :( I went to school a lot at the start of the year however making it all the way to class a whole different story. What a guy that son of mine is, i marvel at his and his brothers and sisters and the things they accomplish. It never fails to amaze me how simply life can really be growing up if everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing. THAT very light has come on over my lil mans head a few years ago ~ you know about the time he ran into his first true love FOOTBALL. I can remember when he was a really little guy in first grade i believe and one of the cutest lil girls in his class came up to me and said "know why i like taylor? cus he knows how to treat a lady!". I still lol when i look back on that day him all running around and testing himself as he climbed and ran and jumped.

Now years later i will sit in the stands watching him run, jump and mabey even climb (a few other kids that is). He will take the feild and my breath. The crowd will be yelling and screaming and i will too inside. Inside ill be yelling please dont get hurt, please dont get hurt, PLEASE DONT GET HURT! On the outside it will be GO BABY GO! With every little impact my heart will skip a beat as i wait for the outcome. SCORE he didnt get hurt. lol Ok ok i know im supposed to get exceited when they make a touchdown but in every moment that he is on that feild i will be to, inside him, willing him every bit of my own strengh, courage, speed, agility and love. Not that he needs it! I can only hope that his heart and love for football make up for his lack of size and that his speed and strengh keep him safe and at the top of his game.

Even if he never takes the feild today it will not change a think. Taylor is a STAR to me! If he was to never put a jersey on one more time for the rest of his life ill never forget the heart and love he played with. Ill never forget the bruises, scrathes, bumps, pulled mucsles, hours of time, and heart that he played with. I will never be the same for having loved him! I will never question his ability to hold his own or his manhood. For as much as his girlfriend thinks she loves him now she will never equal or even come close to loving him as deeply as i. I am not just his mother i am his number ONE fan ~ in football and in life!